February Round-Up
"Since when are they red?"
GREETINGS & SALUTATIONS
In this special edition of “One of these things is not like the others”:
Captain America is back!
Nazis are back!
Boyzone are not back!
Only Eleven months until Christmas! Who’s excited already? No one? Oh.
There’s lots going on, isn’t there? Sometimes it can be hard to focus on day-to-day tasks. I recently finished adapting my novel Nostalgia into a film script, which was tricky due to its time-jumping, but I think it works as a film script. The idea of delving back into the good ol’ days feels even more relevant these days, so hopefully people will click with it.
I’ve begun a deep-dive rewrite of an old script from almost fifteen years ago. Lumen was one of those scripts with a great sci-fi Cronenberg-y central idea but wasn’t where I felt it should be in the execution, so I’m going for a proper brush-up with it. Again, it chimes with current times - the “grass is always greener” idea of wanting to flee to a better place.
Other than that, February has been another round of hunt-the-agent and script-swap feedback. Good to see some things never change…
JUST ONE MORE THING…
What a mess the world is right now, and more to the point - America. It’s very easy to feel helpless and at the mercy of greedy idiots. Things are moving deteriorating so fast it is hard to keep up with what’s gone wrong now.
When terminally-awful newspapers such as The Mail can play spot the Nazi on their front page, I’ve not lost all hope that there are still those who can call out the current climate for what it is. (And no, I’m not suggesting you go out and buy the Mail.)
So check which companies are falling in line with the Right-Wing Nazi game plan and boycott those who have shown their true colours. This is only getting started, so don’t tolerate/excuse their behaviour. The days of “comedy personality politicians” are over. These fascists want it all and at your expense.
CINEMA
CAPTAIN AMERICA: BRAVE NEW WORLD
For the uninitiated, ex-Falcon Sam Wilson is now Captain America - as documented in the Marvel television series The Falcon and the Winter Soldier. Yet he’s still treading the same ground as before, wrestling with himself and those who would say he’s no Steve Rogers. If you’re up to date with your Marvel movies/series, this film does feel like a retread of previous dilemmas as an old friend of Sam’s is mind-controlled into an attempted assassination. (Something the Winter Soldier knows a thing or two about).
I struggle a bit with Sam Wilson’s character: I get that he doesn’t want the super-serum and join that mutant super-human variety of heroes, but beyond struggling with what being Captain America means, what is his character? What’s his thing? Anthony Mackie is a personable performer - if straddling too far into that Will Smith-alike charm - but he is under-served by a lack of dramatic importance. He seems to spend the film pinballing; under the thumb as he tries to clear his friend’s name without leading the drama. He’s reactive rather than proactive, putting out fires and rushing to save the day. He needed a meaty going-rogue moment.
This may be a Cap movie, but there are more ties to the Hulk movies, and Captain America’s story pales compared to of Thaddeus Ross’s strand (once William Hurt, now Harrison Ford). Ford has much more of an interesting character and gives the best performance of this film and his recent movies. It’s a perfect showcase of how great Ford is as an actor - to the point where it had me wishing he was offered better movies in the early 2000s. Yes, he’s Indy and Han, but he’s also the same guy who made Witness and The Mosquito Coast. When Ford is on screen, Brave New World is on a different level to the rest of the movie, which at times feels underserved in the script (hello weak bantz between Cap and, well, anyone) and direction department, whose strengths lie in action scenes rather than dramatic character interaction. It does entertain in fits and spurts, but Civil War and Winter Soldier it is not.
Possibly the biggest issue - and this is no fault of the film itself - but recent developments with the Trump administration left me with a sense of Brave New World already feeling out-dated. The American government are no longer “the heroes” or world police. Hydra is now in charge. Now I’d pay to see a movie where Captain America beats ten bells out of the nazis.
VERDICT: Better than recent Marvel cinema efforts, but still some way to go.
DOG MAN
A cop and his dog are blown up by master villain cat Pete, and naturally have their head and body combined to create DOG MAN! If you’ve read the books you will know what to expect: It’s nuts. Zany. Wacky. Perfect for kids with a sense of humour.
In yet another attempt to stop Dog Man, Pete accidentally creates a son-like clone, Li’l Petey, who is the nicest little kitten ever - and certainly not evil genius material. OR IS HE? The animation is excellent, capturing the books perfectly, and I loved the odd humour, raising more than a chuckle or two. Ricky Gervais pops up as a fish who sounds exactly like Ricky Gervais, which does tend to jar every time he speaks. The plot isn’t exactly complex, but there’s a gentle cuteness about it, making it all very lovable.
VERDICT: Barking mad.
TELEVISION
BOYZONE: NO MATTER WHAT
It was easy to be cynical about Boyzone back in the 90s: Armed with the Take That playbook, they set out to follow in Gary ‘n co’s wake. Fast forward to now, and it transpires that the cynicism may have had a point. “Super Manager” Louis Walsh might as well have been stroking a white cat as his shark eyes (“Like a doll’s eyes”, to quote sea-faring shark-bait Quint from Jaws) twinkled as he reminisced about giving five Irish boys fame in exchange for their souls. He didn’t actually say that, but he did say “I prefer ordinary people because they work harder. And they do whatever you want at the start." He may as well have dabbed away the froth from the corners of his mouth afterwards.
The three-part doc charts the rise, fall, semi-rise, no-it’s-really-dead-this-time existence of every Mum and Nan’s favourite, Boyzone. Yes, there’s the awful manic improvised dance they did on live TV because they didn’t actually have any songs and there is Stephen Gately’s despicable treatment by the press which hints heavily at the smell of Louis Walsh’s beefy fingerprints. Walsh’s knack for manipulation poses the question of why he never took up a career as a fantasy novelist given the amount of made-up stories he fed to the tabloids. (Although he would have to find someone else to actually do the writing for him)
Scrotum-cheeked Louis regals us with tales of how he would make up any old balls just so long as it made the headlines - presumably it was cheaper than actually paying for publicity - and shows himself as the money-chasing “you wanted fame, I gave it to you” vampire that people of his ilk often are. Walsh’s only talent seems to be moving through sunlight without exploding into flames.
Elsewhere, Ronan shows remorse for his jettisoning of his mates on his quest to Gary Barlow without the songwriting (“I was driven”), and Mikey comes out on top with the most honest opinion of boyband reality. He seems to be on a journey with it all, perhaps having the best understanding and insight into the stresses of being on the road with those who you don’t naturally gel with.
You don’t need to be a Boyzone fan to get something from this: If you enjoyed the recent Robbie and BBC boybands documentaries, this is essential viewing. It doesn’t quite hit those heights, more serves as another depressing insight into the cash-grab world of boy bands where mental health doesn’t exist and managers exploit the energy and good looks (which they fail to possess) in order to stuff their bank accounts silly.
VERDICT: No matter what it’s worth a watch.
THE WHITE LOTUS (SEASON 3)
Another White Lotus resort (this time in Thailand), another bunch of dysfunctional characters arriving at (and jarring with) a culture miles away from their own. So far the series seems to be focusing on spirituality, but if you’ve seen the first two seasons then you’ve a good idea where it is all going as the characters mix and interact. The show opens with a peaceful moment which… well, I won’t say for spoilers. I’ve seen two episodes so far, but there’s a sense of being in safe hands. The White Lotus is up there with Slow Horses as one of those shows which would have been considered appointment television back when such a thing existed. Sit back, relax, and let the drama unfold…
VERDICT: Must-watch television.
READING
LIKE BROTHERS by Mark & Jay Duplass
Part biography, part insight into how to start a film career and maintain it, the Duplass brothers’ book is a must-read for anyone interested in film. I’ve only seen a few of their films but came away with a clear sense of who they are and how they operate. There are many golden quotes, like:
“… letting ideas go… doesn’t mean they are gone forever. They often come back with beards, shaved armpits, new tattoos. Something we don’t even recognise them until they start speaking to us again.“
Their story is unique as they are obviously brothers sharing a close bond, and formulate ideas in their natural way - so it’s not necessarily applicable for the rest of us as any sort of How-To template. But it is a good insight into how a creative partnership can work. The most surprising - and dare I say, gut-punch - came right at the end of the book, which could have been an ending straight out of one of their films. To say it left me reeling undersells it: But it’s a very good reminder that there is no “formula” to success and that things always change, regardless.
VERDICT: Quirky, genuine, and inspiring.
ON ROTATION
Here’s what I’ve been listening to this month - enjoy!
Thank you for reading Short People!
It would greatly help if you could share this post on your socials. If you’re a writer on Substack, please could you add Short People to your recommendations.
If you enjoyed Short People, please spread the word!