In case you missed it...
I chanced upon Yahoo’s homepage and was struck by the endless barrage of sensationalist headlines and attention-grabbing, overly-dramatic nonsense. You know the sort.
The following collection of words were taken from the home page of Yahoo on 09/09/23 and used to create a sort of rumination on clickbait. All of the lines appear as written on Yahoo, so I used their shock, outrage and sleazy insight to create a sort of free-form word-salad. Or just a nonsensical poem.
“Please Gillian, come and see my school”,
teachers said trousers were too tight.
Crocs and shorts on show.
His reaction breaks
despite chronic
final wish.
Fury doesn’t wanna get
there was a problem with my father;
Makes first public appearance since crash,
shares heartbreak as he relies on mobility scooter during day out
so ‘something worse doesn’t happen’ to him.
Hints he could wait until
dog reacts dramatically.
Potential set-list for
fighting life-threatening infection;
Botched surgeon reflects,
“It will end in oblivion”.
Rampaging billy goat takes over repair shop in surprise attack,
parrot places bucket on head.
Scientists still stumped;
accused of vendetta
after huge slice of luck.
I quit my dream job
to beat the stress and
say goodbye to expensive
results leaking.
What actually happened to
the tragic truth of
mysteriously vanished
childhood habits?
Healthy under-75’s don’t need
these cringeworthy things.
The secret to feeling
shredded by veteran?
Urge people to avoid
the winner crowned.
Guilty pleasures
sparks outrage,
Odds slashed on
major crackdown,
Regret over problematic
re-cast in yet another
blistering assault on
Who wore it best?
Nuclear blackmail
hide their baldness
in another box office milestone,
slammed with vile abuse.
Lip reader reveals
“This could be my last Christmas”,
Hits out at critic of disinformation
“I’d rather go fishing.”
See how the actor has changed!
showed his true colours,
helps you become successful;
Sets record straight.
Cause of death revealed:
Toxic work environment.
Queen waited with cake,
apologises for allegations.
“My daughter’s mad,
Son is probably the most handsome man in the world.”
“I’m sorry you’re like this,
our hearts feel emptier.”
AI expert issues ‘deadly’
plans for
simple skincare;
Left him too ill
to write memoir
we all forgot about.