January Round-Up
"Go track some mud on somebody's carpet. Make some noise."
GREETINGS & SALUTATIONS
In this edition:
HELLO, 2025!
A Real Pain & A Complete Unknown (Not my autobiography title, btw)
The Stanley Parable: Are you playing it or is it playing you?
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
It feels a bit late to say this now we’re at the end of January, but you know how it is.
So what have I been up to, I don’t hear you ask? Well, I’ve settled upon how to format my pitch decks for my writing projects. I initially set out using Prezi, which is a whizzy/flashy way of presenting ideas… if you’re standing in front of people. If you’re sending it out for people to read on their computers, well, it felt a bit flat in translation.
Back to the drawing board. As pitch decks are all about selling the sizzle, I’ve opted for Publisher, and with a bit of creativity, I think I’ve created a workable pitch deck.
I’ve uploaded my first attempt to my website, so take a look, let me know what you think. Did it make you interested in the project? Did it present the idea in a clear and inspiring way? Let me know what you think! I’ve also uploaded a pitch deck for ‘Backstabbers’ to my website, so check that out too.
I’m currently adapting my Black Mirror-esque novel ‘Nostalgia’ into a screenplay. I’m building a solid slate of film and television projects. I’ll be writing more about them over the coming year, you lucky people…
I also received some great feedback on The Outrunners; a script which I completed last November:
"... a compelling dystopian action script with an imaginative concept and a plot that keeps the audience hooked. The turning points arise naturally from the characters' decisions and actions... It's a fresh and captivating idea... an imaginative and thrilling story with a richly developed world and amazing characters.... successfully delivers on its action-oriented dystopian premise while exploring unique thematic elements."
Which, as a writer, is what it is all about: Someone reading your stuff and enjoying it.
JUST ONE MORE THING…
I’ve quit Threads. I know, it feels like we’ve al just joined but after Meta announced they were ditching fact-checkers… well, I don’t have the time or energy for that nonsense. I had quit Facebook before the pandemic but ended up back on there because our local community hub was sharing info on, like, where to buy a loaf of bread. But then it remained on my phone… so I deleted it again. Gone for good this time because I do not want to be a part of an app which sneakily adds people like J.D. Vance to your follow list.
But then there’s Instagram. Whatsapp. Can I let go of it? What’s the alternative? I’m on BlueSky, which is like Twitter before it flopped into Nazi hell. And what about Spotify? I’ve had issues with Spotify since it was revealed how much money the CEO made yearly compared to the pittance it pays the people who make the CEO who he is. It’s just wrong, isn’t it? And today it was revealed that Spotify hosted Trump’s inauguration and donated £120,000 to the event.
Where are the ethical app developers? Or do all apps end up being owned by some nightmare in need of a moral compass? (I suspect the latter) Even Substack has been on the receiving end of some eye-opening headlines in the past year or so. I know, I know, welcome to the real world. ‘Conflicted’ has become a natural state, it seems.
What difference does one person ending a subscription make? Do they sleep better at night? Is it back to owning physical copies and friends/family/total strangers not knowing where you are or what you’re doing? Are we all Canutes, unable to turn back the tide whilst being controlled by a royal bunch of Canutes?
Answers on a postcard. (Remember them? Now there’s an idea…)
You can find me on *BlueSky if you want to chat. *before the anti-Christ takes over as CEO…
CINEMA
A COMPLETE UNKNOWN
An adaptation of Dylan Goes Electric! Newport, Seeger, Dylan, and the Night That Split the Sixties by Elijah Wald, this is a surprisingly bold biopic which doesn’t seek to flatter or sympathise with its subject matter - Bob Dylan. In fact, for the most part Dylan comes across as a naturally talented a-hole, emboldened by Dylan’s script approval. We see Dylan starting out as, golly gosh, a complete unknown with barely a cent to his name. But he knows he’s good, and soon others are seeing the same thing when it comes to his songwriting and performing. Ed Norton plays Pete Seeger AKA the guy who helps Dylan get his break, and it is an exceptional performance because Pete is just a nice guy. A really nice guy, so it takes something special to make Seeger a completely watchable character, and Norton lands it. He has that twinkle in his eye throughout which says “Just gimme the Oscar now.” Elle Fanning is great in what could have been a thankless role of “the mistreated girlfriend”, and also excellent is Monica Barbaro as Joan Baez - totally believable as Dylan’s equal (minus the ego). Timothée Chalamet does a decent Dylan performance, sometimes slipping into impression, but he looks and sounds the part, capturing Dylan’s nasal mumbling to a T. Also worth mentioning is Scoot McNairy in a near-silent role as a hospitalised Woody Guthrie.
I found the first half more interesting, as it charts Dylan’s rise. The second half left me a little confused at times, as I wasn’t sure who exactly I was meant to be cheering for: Dylan trying something new or Seeger protecting a festival he was instrumental in building and wasn’t about to let it slide because of someone’s ego. The second half has less to say about its subject and doesn’t try to explain why Dylan was like he was during that time. I’m not a massive fan of Dylan’s music, so coming in as a non-fan I found it to be a decent biopic which seems to buy into the mystery of Dylan as opposed to offering any reasons or answers. It does have a great closing moment though, which (for me) felt like a superhero movie where the main character accepts their power and flies off into the distance. I look forward to the expanded universe!
VERDICT: A game of two halves, the first being the better.
A REAL PAIN
Two Jewish cousins who are total opposites head off on a tour of Poland and a plan to honour their Polish Grandmother - but their differences threaten to derail everything. Benji (Kieran Culkin) is completely free to act, think and say whatever he feels, and David (Jesse Eisenberg) is a straight-laced family man who isn’t comfortable in his own skin. It’s one of those character-study movies that isn’t high on drama but big on insight; a funny exploration of chalk ‘n cheese cousins who, deep down, love each other, even if they don’t always understand each other.
The supporting cast is headed by Will Sharpe, who plays the tour guide in his fifth year of delivering a history lesson only to find his outlook - and patience - challenged by Benji’s outspokenness. It has echoes of Sideways - the road trip which could go wrong at any moment - and has the same kind of easy-going energy. I’m not always a huge fan of Eisenberg’s neuroticism but here he delivers something fresh and thoughtful and often takes the story in unexpected directions.
VERDICT: No pain, no gain.
BETTER MAN
Right. Let’s get the monkey thing out of the way: It doesn’t detract from anything. The FX is well-done, and it fits with Robbie Williams’ cheeky monkey persona. Also, it aids the film when it comes to some countries not having the foggiest who Robbie Williams is. The film is mostly a standard biopic, charting Robbie’s rise to fame from unknown to boy band crumpet to solo artiste, charting his struggle with self-belief, alcohol and drugs.
The film really comes alive when it leans heavily into the fantasy: The dance numbers are brilliantly executed - in particular, one sequence which takes place on Regent’s Street in London - and a climactic fight scene is such a fantastic idea. It’s just a pity the stuff in between feels out of step with the flights of fantasy. I don’t know if it is a case of being too familiar with Robbie’s story (his Netflix doc was far more insightful, and more of a must-watch, IMO), or if it is too sympathetic towards its subject, but I didn’t feel the necessary emotional connection with it. Yes, there’s a lot of sad, relatable stuff, but there’s a sense of being told what Robbie wants us to hear. It strives for warts ‘n all - Robbie isn’t painted in a perfect light by any means - but when a true story is moulded into a movie format the beats dictate what the audience is supposed to feel, and this plays like a well-rehearsed dance routine.
VERDICT: Brilliant dance scenes punctuated by less convincing storytelling.
WE LIVE IN TIME
We Live in Time is a life/love story told in a non-linear format, so the story jumps back and forth through the relationship of top chef Almut and Weetabix exec and recent divorcee Tobias. The time jumps can be a little jarring at times, but it soon settles into the chemistry of the two leads, and Florence Pugh and Andrew Garfield work well as a team: They elevate the “normal life” stuff, and make a believable couple. Sometimes the “normal stuff” can verge on the mundane, but it is a delicate telling of all the little moments which make up a relationship. Within ten minutes you can tell where it is all heading, and that does colour the story somewhat. It did remind me of the book Unlikely by Jeffrey Browne, which time-hops around a relationship but would play the moments in a far more bittersweet way. We Live in Time is more of a through-line reminder of how life can be complete crap at times.
I didn’t always understand Almut’s character/decision-making, and Tobias is too much of a saint at times when you would expect any normal person to lose their rag. By using the choppy storytelling, the big emotional impact lands early in the story, and by the end (where you would normally expect the gut-punch in the emotions) there wasn’t THAT moment to tie it all together - but it’s a fine film, but maybe one you need to be in the right mood for.
VERDICT: Predictable tear-jerker elevated by the two leads’ honest performances.
TELEVISION
SQUID GAME: SEASON 2
The ultra-violent South Korean hit returned over Christmas, and it is business as usual. It takes a while to get going because deep down we’re all waiting for the game to begin. Aren’t we? I have an uneasy relationship with this show: Whilst it is a commentary on the depths of depravity people will sink to win a shed-load of money, as a viewer you are complicit in the very thing the show seeks to demonize. Or is it just serving you what you want? i.e. bodies dropping like flies.
After the massive success of the first season, Squid Game doesn’t deviate from the format: There are games. There’s a cash prize. And A LOT of people die. Some through a lack of skill, others through a desire to stay alive, even if it means treading on the head of another human being.
Lee Jung-jae is back - yes, having survived the first season you would wonder how on earth anyone could be convinced to go back into the game ever again, but yet here he is. Only this time he is armed with a survivor’s insight on how to play the game to win. Lee Jung-jae is utterly believable once again, and after his appearance as Master Sol in The Acolyte, I truly believe he is one of the best actors working today. He has the right amount of humanity to save Squid Game from becoming just a gory adult version of Takeshi’s Castle.
Be warned: This season is more of a “part one”: The next season is coming later in the year.
VERDICT: More of the same. But with a lil’ twist.
THE TRUTH VS ALEX JONES
Released mid-2024, I chanced upon this a few weeks ago and within minutes I couldn’t take my eyes off it. I cried a lot, especially as parents of murdered children described the events of the Sandy Hook school shooting. But then to hear a bloated, greedy loudmouth like Alex Jones perpetuate ten years of lies - stuff like “The shootings never happened”, “The parents are actors”, “It’s all a conspiracy”… You will be screaming at the television too.
This documentary is a jaw-dropping insight into everything wrong in America today, and how this poisonous mindset is permeating into all corners of the world. That the truth is just how you see it. And even if you end up in court, swearing on the bible to tell the truth, you are still free to tell YOUR TRUTH, even if you know you are lying through your teeth. Alex Jones is a two-bit snake-oil peddling Trump wannabe who does not who he upsets to claw another few bucks. This is why everyone should watch this documentary to understand why and how they do what they do, and to grasp the full extent of the innocent lives they tear apart for their gain.
VERDICT: An absolute must-watch if you care about where the world is heading. Or already is.
AMERICAN PRIMEVAL
My initial thoughts on viewing the first episode of this tales-from-the-wild West is how similar it was to Kevin Costner’s recent epic stumble Horizon: An American Saga. Whilst that ambitious project strived for the wide panoramas, multi-strand storylines and ultra-realism of life in the birth of the West, American Primeval is GRRRRITTY, devoid of colour and lots of close-ups. One sequence (the Mountain Meadows Massacre. Clue’s in the title.) of yer-typical attack on a wagon camp comes across as the D-Day landings in Saving Private Ryan. Horizon was about the brutal beauty of America’s settlers. American Primeval is about having your face rammed into the dirt. This is Game of Thrones does the Wild, Wild West, so be prepared to grit your teeth. It is one of those shows where life is so hard and people die in all sorts of horrible ways that you wonder how anyone survived.
Shea Whigham (of the recent M:I Dead Reckoning) stars as a gruff, haggard Jim Bridger, a real-life frontiersman (who also featured in The Revenant) who presides over Fort Bridger. As you expect, there are many factions outside the fort, including native tribes, the military and the Mormons, who would gladly see each other left for dead, and I have a sneaky feeling this will be the case by the end of season one…
VERDICT: Hard Hard West.
READING
SENSE & SENSIBILITY: SCREENPLAY AND DIARIES by Emma Thompson
Came across this in a second-hand bookshop last year. I’d heard the diary was a must-read, and guess what? It is! If you have any interest in filmmaking (you don’t have to be a fan of Austen to appreciate this book, but the film script is also included, along with a set of nice character photos), you have to read this. The ups and downs of life on a film set is often depicted with Thompson’s slightly anxious sense of humour - well, at times it is genuine anxiety - but it is a fascinating insight into how films are made in the UK, culture conflicts with Taiwanese director Ang Lee, twitchy stately home location owners and how Thompson just wanted a decent sleep at the end of the day.
VERDICT: A Must-Read for cinephiles.
GAMING
TMNT: MUTANTS UNLEASHED
Aimed at the target audience of the recent cinema offering Mutant Mayhem, this beat ‘em up continues the story after Superfly got a royal drubbing at the hands of New Yorkers and, of course, the pizza-loving Turtles. Thankfully, the animation remains in the scratchy style of Mutant Mayhem, along with the same off-the-wall sense of humour. The gameplay is fine, if a bit grindy at times, but once the game opens up (you can unlock different fighting moves, and there’s a map so you can fast travel around town), it gets more interesting. It’s nowhere in the same league as the Spiderman/Miles Morales games, but if you take it for what it is there’s a lot to enjoy.
VERDICT: Funny, if repetitive fun.
THE STANLEY PARABLE ULTRA DELUXE
I can honestly say there is no other game like this: Whether or not you will think this a good thing depends on your a) sense of humour b) your obsessive-compulsive streak to complete anything and c) your patience.
This is a Weird game. A mind-bending, amusing and curious one. The Deluxe version offers a meta-meta-meta insight into playing the game, which is essentially a walking simulator with a narrator telling you what to do. Or not.
The level of thought and detail in this game is hilariously mind-boggling at times, with something like 43 different endings to play. And you will want to find them all.
VERDICT: It’s probably not for everyone, but if it clicks with you then you will love it.
POWER WASH SIMULATOR
As a treat for myself over Christmas I purchased the Spongebob Squarepants and Back to the Future expansion packs for Power Wash Simulator. If you’ve played this game, you know what to expect. What I loved in particular about the BTTF pack is the attention to detail: You get to go INSIDE the clock tower, you get to clean where Doc Brown hung off the clock tower (along with the broken ledge!)… yes, I’m a nerd, but I don’t care. I love these packs. My only gripe is they are short: Only five stages for BTTF (Doc’s Van, the DeLorean, the clock tower, the 2015 cinema and Doc’s train), so you can whizz through them in a blink. But still, more please!
VERDICT: Have I ever told you how much I love this game?
ELSEWHERE ON SUBSTACK…
has written an excellent piece of advice when it comes to writing, and I wholeheartedly agree with it!Before I go I just want to mention the sad sad loss of David Lynch. What a body of work, and what a creative void left behind. He was a total one-off.
Thank you for reading Short People!
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