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GREETINGS & SALUTATIONS
In this edition:
A Brand New Spidey
A Re-Heated He-Man
The Same Olā Miranda
No matter how much water Iāve consumed during however many heatwaves weāve had, the past month has felt like wading through treacle. Itās hard to concentrate, hard to do pretty much anything without feeling like a feebly wilting flower. But, the kids are off school, and thereās a holiday to look forward to, and thatās always a lovely thing.
Before school was out for summer, I had my first film review piece commissioned! Needless to say (but Iāll say it anyway), Iām very happy and excited about this. I canāt say any more for now, but I will let you know in a few months where you can read it! Hopefully it will lead to more commissions, who knowsā¦ (And if anyone else would like to commission me to write about film/TV-related stuff, you know where to find me!)
Possibly the most interesting part of writing my article was reaching out to an actor involved with the film. It was a good reminder to take those chances, be polite about it, and you never know what could happen - and yes, they did respond.
Iāve a few more shorts to write over the next few weeks for the Kinolime competition (last year I very narrowly missed being in the top 25), and then Iāve got some more one minute scripts to come up with for SHORT PEOPLE TV. After which, Iām feeling the lure towards banging out an 80-page screenplay (potentially to shoot) and starting a novel. Maybe both?
JUST ONE MORE THINGā¦
My other Substack - Short People TV - is now fully operational! Head over to read screenwriting-related posts such as:
And donāt forget to like/follow/share/subscribe!!!
CINEMA
SPIDER-MAN: BRAND NEW DAY
Last yearās Thunderbolts seem to take Marvel off into a new place as regards to character and emotion. Yes, there was still the smashy bashy running up walls stuff, but you could see they were trying to lift Marvel out of its post-Endgame slump. And for the most part, it worked very well. The fourth standalone Tom Holland Spider-Man film builds on that, and the end result is something quite unlike all the previous Marvel films.
Whereas Infinity War and Endgame felt like a culmination of all those movies, a drawing together of all the characters and journeys into that one moment audiences had been wanting to see for years i.e. everyone whooping Thanos, BND stands on its own two feet.
The previous installment, No Way Home, left Peter Parker in a world where everyone had forgotten he existed, and thatās the perfect place to start: Peter is alone. All he has is his memories of what he used to have - and this places the story and character in a sort of Pixar-level realm of ideas and storytelling about emotion.
Thereās a good mix of characters, including Bruce Banner and The Punisher, and thereās all the flying about and bad guys being dealt with, and all of that is handled brilliantly by director Destin Daniel Cretton. More than ever are you closer to the action, given the sense of what it actually must feel like to have Spider-Manās abilities, all told with some incredibly creative and immersive visuals. There are also more than a few nods ān winks to the Spider-Man console games, which is nice to see.
The best addition to Spider-Manās story is that he is no longer a kid. No more calling people āsirā. Heās out on his own for the first time, battle-scarred and matured, which rejuvenates Peter Parkerās character.
Itās plain to see that all involved have taken great care not to just churn out another superhero movie. Four films and multiple other appearances in other movies, and yet Spider-Man feels fresher than ever, and it is a testament to the filmmakers that they have achieved this. The film almost has no right to be this good after so many years.
VERDICT: The best Spider-Man film, and possibly one of the best Marvel films.
STREAMING
MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE
Another lightening-fast transition from cinema to streaming to cheapen the cinematic release window (Hey, itās Amazon, what do you expect?), this reboot/re-whatever of the 80s cartoon and toy series He-Man didnāt fare too well at the box office. Then came an online resurgence of enthusiasm for it. The sort of āItās dumb but funā vibe that made me wonder if I should have caught it on the big screen.
No, I made the right decision. You can call the 1987 incarnation of He-Man many derisory things, and youād be correct. Certainly, 87ās Masters of the Universe movie had a disastrous shoot and was made for buttons, but it DID have some fun things about it. Not many, but some. The 2026 version tries to avoid making those errors - mostly by throwing money at the screen - but it also comes with its own array of blunders.
The āplotā goes something like: Big baddie Skeletor (a weird-voiced Jared Leto) attacks Eternia, and Prince Adam is shoved off into some sort of dimensional hole, landing him somewhere on planet Earth. Cue lots of fish-out-water stuff, as Adam tries to fit in whilst he tracks down his lost sword. I know, right?
The biggest issue is this: placing Adam/He-Man in OUR WORLD adds nothing. Itās neither fun, funny, nor interesting. 87ās MotU did a better job with this, and that is really saying something. Of course, Adam finds his way back, and thereās a lot more fighty stuff with Brian Mayās wailing guitar signalling āHey, remember Flash Gordon? Wasnāt it better than this?ā They even have the audacity to use Queenās Princes of the Universe at one point to make up for the lack of bombast from, well, anywhere, really. (Sorry, lads. Highlander forever owns PotU) It canāt decide if itās campy or sincere, and itās this āHey, look at us, playing it fast ān loose with the IPā tone which ultimately sinks the film. If the filmmakers were going for throwaway nonsense, then donāt make it two hours fifteen minutes long as if itās Lord of the ruddy Rings. At one point, it even slips into Naked Gun-esque parody, all of which reduces any chance of taking it seriously.
The one big plus is the creature design, and this is where He-Man has always excelled. It has a supporting cast of weird ān bonkers characters, and theyāre all brilliantly realised here. Itās just a shame that more time is spent on Adam being a dolt, rather than revelling in the monsters and bizarro sidekicks.
Available on Amazon Prime
VERDICT: Creatures aside, thereās nothing masterful about this.
THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA 2
A belated follow-up to the 2006 crowdpleaser in which Andy, an aspiring journalist, lands a job at a top fashion magazine, and discovers the price for this is working with the ball-busting editor, Miranda, who naturally makes her life hell.
The core four of Anne Hathaway, Meryl Streep, Stanley Tucci and Emily Blunt are back to do their respective things i.e. bumbling charm, bossy boots, pithy putdowns and stab-you-in-the-front withering dismissives.
This time, Andy goes viral when she makes a passionate speech about journalists losing their jobs, and is soon offered a new job in her old workplace - working for Miranda, who seemingly canāt even remember her. Itās a re-run of the first film, with an older/wiser Andy standing her ground more, and thereās a bit of timely commentary on how AI is sucking the life out of anything creative.
Iāve only seen the first movie once, so I wouldnāt describe myself as the target audience for this, but I found it to be an undemanding, perfectly entertaining movie. Itās not laugh-out-loud funny (itās more about bitchy zingers), yet itās all so glossy and gleaming with charming performances that you canāt help but go with it. And Kenneth Branagh shows up as Streepās Noel Edmonds-alike man-crumpet. How can you refuse?
Available on Disney+
VERDICT: Fahbulous, dahling!
MARTY SUPREME
A film about balls involving a main character who behaves as if he possesses a pair as big as twin moons but actually has none. The film, much like its main character, has swagger and verve, but it all comes across as a cheap trick.
No, not every main character has to be likeable. And the filmmakers know this, because thatās the point of this film: Marty behaves like a punchable smug lord for the entire running time. Thatās the film they wanted to make, and they succeeded. It is a story about a racing train on a track - Marty - charging through life with his determination to be the best ping-pong player (*shuddering as I type that*), treading on as many people who dare to get in his way. Letās just say he makes Barton Fink look self-deprecating.
Thatās not to say the film is without merit. There are many scenes that tell your brain āTHIS IS GOOD ACTING. THIS IS GOOD WRITING.ā and you canāt deny it. BUT. There is such a self-centred swagger to the film. Itās so ālook at me, arenāt I great?ā that the answer can only be, āWell, no. Youāre not.ā
Available on Amazon Prime
VERDICT: Tiresome.
READY OR NOT 2: HERE I COME
Ready or Not was a 2019 film which made nearly sixty million on a six million budget, so you know what that means: SEQUEL TIME!
The story opens moments after the first film ends: Sole Survivor Grace (a game Samara Weaving) is covered in the blood of her new in-laws, who have spent the night hunting her and trying to kill her. Poor Grace barely has a chance to put her feet up in hospital before it all kicks off again, but this time her estranged sister (Kathryn Newton) is roped in, and before you can say āHide and seekā, theyāre being stalked by an elite gang of super rich devil-worshipping a-holes.
I found the first movie to be okay, if a bit forgettable, but I was so glad to give this a go because it is a huge amount of fun. Itās laugh-out-loud funny, and the colourful variety of competitive characters keeps things lively, on a Wacky Races level as they all try to out-do each other in order to win the big prize.
Available on Disney+
VERDICT: Gory, violent, totally ridiculous, and immensely enjoyable.
TELEVISION
THE FOUR SEASONS: SEASON 2
The best show on TV is back with another eight episodes spanning - you guessed it - the four seasons. Colman Domingo still gets the funniest lines, and the characters remain just on the right side of not-too-smug, as they holiday together throughout the year. Itās a show which feels effortless, and even if you try to second-guess where things are heading, it manages to avoid clichĆ©s and easy answers.
Available on Netflix
VERDICT: More please.
MARTY: LIFE IS SHORT
Martin Short is best known these days as one-third of the Only Murders gang, yet he seems to have been famous forever. Even to his own detriment, he willingly admits in this documentary that his acting career hasnāt been one blockbuster after another, yet he is so beloved that none of that matters. This documentary, directed by Lawrence Kasdan, is as much a celebration of Shortās family life as of his talent, and his ability to navigate the highs, lows and tragedies of his life.
There are lots of home movie clips, giving insight into his relationship with his wife, the late Nancy Dolman, and his close friendships with Eugene Levy, Steve Martin, Tom Hanks and the late Catherine OāHara. I couldnāt help thinking, whilst watching the many home movie clips taken at their Snug Cove home, āOf course these people would be good friends. How could they not be?ā It's so nice to see them hanging out with each other, with Captain Ron-era Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn showing up, and Spielberg larking aroundā¦ idyllic, on one hand, but Shortās life has had huge tragedy too, yet he carries himself with a peace of mind that should encourage anyone going through similar hardships. Thatās my way of saying āThere are things here to be remembered.ā
Available on Netflix
VERDICT: Heartfelt and engrossing.
ON ROTATION
Hereās what Iāve been listening to throughout July - enjoy!
Like the cut of my jib, do ya? Well, buy me a coffee!
(Actual real coffee is also readily accepted!)
