May Round-Up
"Oh my friend, you haven't changed a bit."
GREETINGS & SALUTATIONS
In this edition:
Sebastian Stan is A Different Man!
Ramble Book is a must-look!
I’m a poet and I didn’t realise!
It has not been the easiest month: At times the walls and ceiling have felt like they’ve been closing in. Life is feeling… small. I’ve spent the last month working on a new script called Verses, which has been part-expression of what I've been feeling. However, by acknowledging those things it has felt like a heavy thing to write.
As part of my “re-write an old script, write a brand new one” plan for 2025, Verses falls squarely into the “brand new one” category. After finishing the many-worlds plot of Lumen, my initial thoughts were to plough straight into Lumen 2 and set it in a different place with different people… but then something splintered. Having written about other realities, I decided to take the same characters (at least in name) and put them in polar opposite settings. My instinct was to use the same actors I had in mind when writing Lumen but to give them something totally different to perform. So, Verses came to mind. It’s about a super-fan whose life is a complete failure compared to their multi-hyphenate idol’s award-winning existence, but obsession consumes the fan to the point where they transform into their idol’s doppelganger. Cue wreaking havoc on those who dissed or dismissed her.
I’m currently two-thirds through it, have no idea how to end it, and I’m at the point where I just want to get it done because the story is pretty heavy and I’m keen to move on and write that Heathers 2 script I keep thinking of?
JUST ONE MORE THING…
Like many writers and people working in the film/TV industry, I find myself frequently stepping back and looking at the state of things and wondering where the hell it is all leading. Film and TV have always predominantly been the realm of the connected and privileged, and nothing seems to be improving. In fact, it’s going backwards. And no, before you say “Get an OnlyFans” - No, nobody needs to see my saddlebags on OnlyFans.
But thoughts of “What else can I actually do?” are swarming. Being ghosted by producers and agents only fuels these thoughts. Not wanting to give up, yet simultaneously weighing up great feedback which amounts to nothing. Am I just writing stuff which is good but producers know they can’t sell to ruddy Netflix? (The often asked “Where do you see it playing?” always feels like the wrong thing to be asking a writer: “Anywhere that will buy it” is the obvious answer, because beggars can’t be choosers. Producers themselves should have a sense of where it would play, surely? Or is this another Blade Runner-esque Voight-Kampff test to check if the writer is firing on all cylinders?)
It has made me think a lot about what I’ve done with my life and taking stock - all very self-obsessed stuff - and there is still stuff I’m figuring out about myself.
All of this naval-gazing will be appearing on here at some point very soon, you lucky people (well, not ALL of it - the more interesting, amusing parts, hopefully! Opposed to the bleak dark nights of the soul which nobody should be exposed to). You’ll be able to read the life ‘n times of a Soho runner, what it’s like to make your own films and have your guts kicked out and danced upon, and everything before, after and in between.
I’m trying to structure it (translation: I’m trying to figure out if I should name names to avoid being sued, or just say it ‘n spray it), but there will be laughs (mostly at my expense), probably some photos for evidence, and who knows - maybe a Spotify soundtrack to accompany it (Reader, the playlists already exist.)…
It will probably be behind a paywall because, y’know, money. Hopefully, you’ll be intrigued enough to drop me the cost of a coffee. If you can’t afford that, let me know. If you can afford it but don’t want to then I still love you (only slightly less than I used to). If you’re interested in this kind of thing - let me know! (I shall take your silence as disinterest, OBVIOUSLY.)
FILM
A DIFFERENT MAN
Finally caught up with this recent release: Sebastian Stan plays Edward, an actor with aspirations for bigger, more serious roles, but due to his appearance is constantly overlooked. When he undergoes a new medical procedure he is “re-born” with a face that is deemed more acceptable by society. For a while, things start to look up - he is offered roles based on his new look - but soon finds his career AND life undermined by the presence of Oswald (Adam Pearson), who has a personality that can charm the birds from the trees. Jealousy overspills when Oswald replaces Edward in a new play, and Edward finally loses the plot.
I really loved this film: It’s weird, quirky, has something to say, and is pretty twisted/warped at times. It’s not for everyone - there is one scene which is quite disturbing/gross, but there’s a throbbing vein of irony running through it, slowly cranking the pressure up by the scene. It doesn’t quite land the ending, which lurches into OTT, but there’s an awful lot to admire.
VERDICT: A Different Film.
TELEVISION
ANDOR: Season 2
Things get off to a cracking start with Andor ‘alf-inching a Tie-Fighter (or whatever it was), providing nerdy insight into what it is like to fly one of those things. Brilliant! Then Andor crash lands and before the story has even had a chance to get going, he’s stranded on some planet with a bunch of day-player characters. And there he stays for something like four episodes. By the halfway point, I was losing my patience with it… then something miraculous happened: It got interesting. And it was brilliant. Krennic is used sparingly, but when Ben Mendelsohn is on the screen you know it. Denise Gough does space grumpy cat to perfection, and there are lots of nice links to Rogue One. The story, which by no coincidence reflects our world today, explains how the Empire crosses the final line into the one we know and hate from the films, and how the rebellion gets their act together to give them what for. Not my favourite Star Wars tie-in, but not too shabby either.
VERDICT: Half dull, half brill.
READING
RAMBLE BOOK by Adam Buxton
I’ve often pondered writing my memoir, but I don’t need to anymore because Adam Buxton wrote it back in 2020. Adam Buxton’s latest book, I Love You, Byeee was released last month, looks at his relationship with his mother. Ramble Book charts Buxton’s course in the 80s and his relationship with his Dad, who later became Baaaad Dad in The Adam and Joe Show, which aired on Channel 4 in the latter half of the 90s.
Whilst I come from a different background to Buxton (no private school for me), we share a love of films, and his youthful pursuits rang many a bell. The book backwards and forwards through Buxton’s teenage life and his father’s decline in health, and proves to be laugh-out-loud funny and tear-inducing (I’ll let you figure out which is which).
I can’t recommend this book enough, and I can’t wait to read Buxton’s next book.
VERDICT: Loved it.
DID I EVER TELL YOU THIS? by Sam Neill
I love Sam Neill. He got me through the pandemic. No, really. I would watch his daily videos with Sam playing his Ukulele, encouraging the world not to lose its collective mind. I’m also a fan of his acting roles, and it turns out I’ve seen a lot of his stuff. His 400-page-or-so memoir takes a deep dive into all that has mattered to Sam: His parents, grandparents, places he’s lived, childhood, career development, constipation, Bryan Brown blowing himself up, having cancer… all told with Sam’s dry, self-deprecating sense of humour. There’s a little bit of dirt-dishing as you’d hope from a memoir: The worst two offenders being Judy David and William Hurt (who both earned their reputations), and Harvey Keitel coming across as a bit of a berk during the making of The Piano. Ultimately, the book is a collection of what amuses Sam, which is fair enough: It’s his book, his life. Turns out he’s got an earthy sense of humour, so brace yourself for tales of poo and noisy whales having it off.
VERDICT: Enjoyable
ON ROTATION
Here’s a mood-setter I listened to when writing Verses, which should give you a good idea of what you’re all in for when you see it made into an award-winning feature film. (This is manifest-speak for “No one’s read it yet”.)
Thank you for reading Short People!
It would greatly help if you could share this post on your socials. If you’re a writer on Substack, please could you add Short People to your recommendations.
If you enjoyed Short People, please spread the word!